Archive for October, 2008

Hey, smart-asses: you’re a pain in the ass.

Tonight was Late Night La Salle’s Quizzo night. There was a pair of smart-ass geeks who decided to, even though they lost, exert their superior knowledge (despite losing) by correcting factual information about my questions. Here, I rebut them.

Question 1 In Contention: “The Hundred Years’ War (which lasted 116 years) was fought between England and what other country?” One smartass decided to correct me (during the round, no less) that it was fought between three countries, and then rattled off something about Ireland and a protectorant. Unfortuantly, most scholars agree that the Hundred Years’ War was fought because the kings of England wanted to rule a weak and divided France. HowStuffWorks.com summarizes it well: “Hundred Years’ War, 1337–1453, a series of conflicts between England and France, fought on French soil.” Nowhere does it mention any protectorants. So, shut the fuck up.

Question 2 In Contention: “Since the probability of the first dealt card of a standard poker deck being an ace is 4 in 52, the probability of the second card being an ace is 1 in what?” The wording of the question, while seeming vague, is actually specific enough for the question. The first dealt card is an ace. The chances of that are 4 in 52. The probability thereof of the second card in the same deck being an ace is one card less in the deck and one card less in the aces, or 3 in 51, or 1 in 17. They mumbled something about it being 1 in 13 or something, which isn’t right because we’re not shuffling the deck (emphasized by the term “second” in the question). So, shut the fuck up again.

Failure, all in their pile. Take your New England Patriots shirt and shove it up your ass.

The category is, “People Who Annoy You.”

Republicans really annoy me. I honestly can’t understand why anyone would tolerate John McCain and his campaign right now. My father is a Republican ward leader in his district in Philadelphia. (That would, then, make him as rare as a Chinese panda buying crack on Broad and Girard.) He firmly believes that Obama and the Democratic party would ruin America. “McCain has foreign policy experience, he has a firm vision, he’s going to keep this country on track. You’re stupid, Cory. What ‘change’ is Obama going to change?” Well, Dad, first and foremost, the Dow Jones Industrial Average has dropped from over 14,000 to just about 8,880 as of the time of this writing. There is a subprime mortgage crisis in America, with greedy lenders abusing the ideals and the budgets of the poor, bringing most of the major banks in America scrambling around trying to keep their heads above water. The current approval ratings of the highest-ranking Republican in office rate somewhere between 23% (from ABC and the Washington Post) to 28% (from Time Magazine). What my father has taught me everywhere else in life is that if something isn’t working, you should try something else. These shoes hurt your feet? Pick different shoes. Does that shirt not fit? Change your shirt. I’m voting for Barack Obama for 3 different reasons:

  1. He’s a standup guy. The Obama campaign has taken the high road in terms of personal attacks on his opponent. And boy, is it easy to attack his campaign. From an online article dated July 2006 from gunowners.org, Colonel Ted Guy, Sen. McCain’s Senior Ranking Officer in Vietnam, recieved phone calls from McCain during Senate Committee hearings regarding POWs left in Vietnam. “John would call me one day and say something… and then he’d call a few days later and I’d ask him about what he’d said on the first call and John would completely deny ever saying it! I don’t trust him anymore. I think he is a total liar.” That’s a strong statement from a lobby that one would think is in the GOP’s pocket. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The Obama campaign told all their volunteers not to make any personal attacks on the McCain/Palin (and the volunteers listened!) all the while, the McCain campaign still likes playing Word Association with Obama’s last name.
  2. He’s in touch. Barack Obama has policies in place for the issues that haven’t plagued the country forever, but could very well soon. The Obama administration wants to assure an open internet, free of the ISPs tiering access to those who pay for premium access. He wants to review and revise the copyright laws in the United States to give the consumer as many rights as the copyright owner. John McCain’s ideas involve less of the consumer technology (which affects ordinary Americans like me) and talks a lot about the technology industry. That thinking does nothing to accurately protect the rights of Americans as we enter this digital age.
  3. He’s got the design. As a designer, I’m always impressed by good design. The Obama campaign didn’t just treat this as a campaign logo, but as a valuable brand, and they put it to good use. I’ve never seen someone take a brand and work with it so well. McCain’s campaign stole the colors of their original from those bags of french fries my grandma bought when I was a kid. (Now, it seems that they’ve adopted the friendly blue of the Obama campaign while still using ugly, amature typography.)

Now, I could say things on how I hate Sarah Palin, how I’m sick of George W. Bush, and how John McCain laughing at his own jokes makes me want to rip off his mask-like face skin, but I’m not. I’m going to say that Barack Obama and Joe Biden are going to lead this country back to the last time we had a president leaving office with a high approval rating and a surplus of over $500 billion.

Wheel of Fortune (Dry Erase Edition)

When I was in 3rd grade, I wanted a way I could play Wheel of Fortune at school, without mucking around with trying to shove a board game in my bookbag/lunchbox. I drew the puzzleboard (complete with those cool spikes they had in 1996), a rudimentary Wheel (which I actually formed as a strip of values, to fit easier on the paper) and a used letter board. I slipped it inside a plastic sleeve and it became dry erase.

It actually served me pretty well, and in the event that you may have a binder or a notebook or the ability to laminate, this remade version may serve somewhat well.

Wheel of Fortune (Dry Erase Edition) (9.5 MB PDF Document)

Harbacue: A Card Game

So, my girlfriend Liz invented a card game. Purely invented it, from what we can gather. I’ve Googled enough to determine that I can’t find a hint of this game anywhere online, so this will be the first actual record of this game.

Harbacue: A Solitaire Game

The object of the game is to stack all cards into one pile. One deck of standard playing cards is shuffled and put face down. Cards are dealt one at a time, each card getting its own pile. Cards are dealt and placed in piles from left to right. A card can only be stacked on another adjacent card if it matches value or suit. For instance, a [3♠] can be stacked on top of a [8♠] and a [K] can be stacked on top of a [K♣]. The only other way cards can be stacked is if two cards separate the eligible cards. For instance, in a series of cards showing [5♠] [K] [9♣] [8♠], the 8 of Spades can be stacked on top of the 5 of Spades. Cards are stacked from right to left until one pile remains. If a match can be made and stacked, the entire pile gets moved. So, if that previous 8 of Spades had 7 cards under it, the entirety of that pile is stacked on top of the 5 of Spades. The amount of piles that can exist are limited only to the amount of cards in the deck, and the game is over when no cards remain in the dealing pile.

I suppose that these rules make sense, and they seem simplistic enough, but it’s a real fun game, and once you play a few times, you get to see the strategy involved. Keeping score for competitive endeavors is simple enough: lowest amount of piles (and yes, even one-card piles count) wins. The lowest I’ve been able to get so far is 3; Liz’s lowest score is 2 (and that was the first time she played) and of course, the lowest score total is 1.

Give it a play, then tell me what you think.